Seasons Greetings

For My Liberal Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

Legal Disclaimer:
By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting
is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no
alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to
actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is
void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the
wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to
replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the
wisher

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For My Conservative Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

This has been floating around the web for years. But I still get a chuckle out of it.