Thursday, August 9, 2012

Trust me, I was never really gone.

Okay, aside from some stray thoughts I haven't posted here in a long time.

Trust me, I was never really gone.  Life just got really really busy for a while.  But that's soon to change, it should get even more so now.

Anyway, back in May, having had enough of Columbus and Ohio. I sought out a job in more polite climes.  I found one in Dallas fairly quickly and that's the short answer.

I'm a captain on a Falcon now.

The last month(s) I've been in indoc. training and then Flight Safety at DFW getting the type rating and then, finally, yesterday was the line check/299 checkride.  Sounds pretty simple, huh.

Not really.

The Falcon type I got is on a design that predates pretty much all of modern aviation's innovations, dark cockpit concept, ergonomics, standardization of instrumentation, etc. etc.  It was pretty much the first corporate jet on the market and as the saying goes, if you've seen one Falcon jet, you've seen one Falcon jet.

That being said, it's a very tough bird that'll take lots of abuse and aside from being underpowered (for a jet) it's really easy to fly.

Other than that, the 2 week initial type rating course that we were supposed to take at FS, turned into a 5 week exercise in hurry up and wait.  About the 3rd day of classroom of the 7 "book larnin'" days we were informed that the sim's visuals had broken and they were trying to fix it.  They'd know more soon and they would keep us updated as they learned it.  Apparently what happened was the Mylar screen that the visuals are projected onto had torn.  Well, the screen is vacuum formed to a curved frame and is kept that way by a constant vacuum action.  Then we find out that only Rockwell Collins, the original manufacturer of this screen system, had the ability to fix it, and they'd be a week getting a team together and getting down to Dallas to fix it.  So, we do our first two days of sim sitting in front of a poster on a wall pretending to flip switches and punch buttons.  Fun.

When that was finished they told us that there was a vibration that was causing the tears in the first place and they needed FAA approval to change the software to remove the vibration and fix the problem.  At this point we were going day by day as to when the sim would be back up.  The FAA being, well the FAA, it took them a week to shuffle the paperwork.

BUT....

By that time, they'd found "structural faults" in the hydraulic legs the sim rode on.  These legs move the entire sim around to simulate aircraft motion.  Now, FS was telling us we'd be week by week instead of day by day.  Hey, paid time off!  Except, part of my paycheck was on hold till I'd finished my line checks.  So, basically, FS cut my pay by 1/3 for a month.

Finally, replacement parts were in, paperwork was shuffled, stamped, folded, spindled and mutilated by as many levels of bureaucracy as possible and 21 days after the last time I showed my face at the DFW training center, I was back for 7 straight days of sim sessions and my type checkride.  Which was 28 days after the training started and 14 days after it was supposed to have finished.  So, 7 days of motion sickness, H'Ray!  You see, even though the sim gets close to what you'd feel flying the actual airplane, it's still not reality and the balance portion of your ears are still telling you one thing while what's actually happening is another.

Anyway, yesterday we finished up with the checkride and I now have 3 full fledged type ratings on my pilots license. Learjet, which allows me to fly the Lear 20 series, the Lear 30 series and the Lear 55. Lr-40/45 which covers two more Lear airframes and basically means the only Lear I can't fly right now is the 60.  And the Falcon.  But I know guys who have half a dozen or more type on their licenses so 3 isn't such a big thing.

Oh, as an aside, under my license's limitations section, it now says English Proficiency.  I would never have known that being proficient in the English language would be a limitation.  I guess if you would ask the French, they'd say it was.

Of course, right after the checkride, we sped over to the airport to get our line checks and what we refer to as our 299 ride done.  Basically it was all the portions of the checkride that FS couldn't do, because they were either company specific or required to be performed in an actual airplane, not a sim.

That was fun, motion sick and all.  It basically turned yesterday into a 16 hour marathon.

On the bright side, my pay jumped by a 1/3 yesterday, so H'Ray for disposable income!

Oh! The move. That was... fun.

My friend Phlegm Fatale coordinates and schedules moves for a national freight company.  I'd used her before to move from Tulsa to Columbus and she/They were both cheap and very good at doing it.  So I contacted them for the move to Texas.  The same relocube cost me 3 times the Tulsa to Columbus price! OUCH! So, I went to UHaul to try to save some money.  The price they quoted me for buying and installing a hitch and electric connector on my Jeep, the trailer and packing boxes and materials was going to keep the move under a grand even including gas, hotels and food on the move.  Except they wont rent trailers to soft top Jeeps.  Which, if you ask me, is Jeepist on their part and we should picket them for being all jeepaphobes and jeepist.  Anyway, they would have ended up costing me half again as much as said national freight company quote for a truck, car trailer, etc. etc. so I went back to national freight company and had them do it.

You know, pretty much every line item that I budgeted for the move ended up costing about a grand more than I planned.

Part of the reason it was so much more expensive to move to Texas than to Ohio is all the jobs are down here and everyone is moving here.  So all the equipment ends up in the south.  The moving companies practically have to pay people to get their equipment up to the north.

While I'm at it, I really need to send out huge thanks to my friends in Texas for letting me couch surf while trying to find an apartment that I could afford and was within my insanely short response time of the airport. Lawdog, Phlegmmy, daniels, Desi, Thank You all so very much.

And that's pretty much what I've been up to in a nutshell for the last several weeks.  And aside from some minor stuff like internet for my apartment and buying new furniture, things are starting to settle down.  Although I still don't know if they'll give me time off for blogorado this year.




Thursday, August 2, 2012

Random thought

Hamburger Helper and Tuna Helper should come with little things of hot sauce. Just sayin'.


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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

What's wrong with whatshername

We've decided the phlegmmy has ADOP. Attention deficit OH PRETTY!
- Tolewyn


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Monday, May 21, 2012

Conversations at Manse de Phlegm

Just a snippet of a conversation we had:

LD: Yeah, you get inside his OODA loop and it screws him up.

Me to Phlegmmy: OODA Loop, that's another geek thing.

Phlegmmy:  I know what an OODA Loop is.  I've seen Willy Wonka.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Bum Ammo

Last blogorado, we had problems with a can of Greek .30-06 I'd brought.  It was CMP stuff.  The 192 rounds in enbloc clips that they sell.  We had the same problem using 2 different rifles.  So, the guys in #GBC wanted to see pics to see if maybe it was bad powder from improper storage.  So, I grabbed a clip at random, pulled one of the rounds and took pics.  Here they are.






I don't see anything wrong, but then it wasn't happening with every clip, every time.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Helicopter Training.

More of the same today, pick ups, set downs, patterns and approaches, hover autorotations.

The big difference today is my phone got stolen while I was out flying.  So, I'm experiencing a little experiment in Keynesian economics.  Since my old old phone had died back in December, I had to play full price for this replacement.  So, $750 bucks there after the case and screen protector.  So, H'Ray for Apple and the case producer and the screen protector maker. They made money. So, Obmama and his Keynesian zombies are applauding.  Except... That $750 had to come from somewhere.  In this case, it's coming straight out of my helicopter training fund. 

So, boo. 

Basically, that's 2 hours of training that I can't afford to do now.  Which is that much in instruction pay out of my flight instructors pocket, that much in lost fuel sales for both my Jeep, and the helicopter. So, the airport looses out there and the .gov loose out on the lost tax revenue from everything.  That much in rental fees that the flight school looses. Then there's the mechanic at the airport, etc.  The list goes on. 

Plus the first thing I did was have both Apple and AT&T wipe that stolen phone.  So, it'll never work again.  And if they change the sim card and try to get Apple to reauthorize it, it'll come up as stolen.  Plus I had them rig it so it'll give whoever stole it a nasty rash on their face that will cause small children to scream in terror and adults to vomit at the sight of it.  So, have fun with that.

p.s. You think I'm kidding about the rash?  Guess again.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

What I've been up to... More of The Grind

More of the same today.  I am seeing improvement in pick ups, hovering, and approaches.  So, H'Ray.

The one new thing today was hover autorotations. Which are interesting.

Basically, just roll the power out from a stable hover around 5 ft. then it's pedal, pause, pull.

Done right, its really a sort of non-event.  So, some day.

Monday, April 30, 2012

What I've been up to... The Grind

More of the same today.  Concentrating on stable approaches.  I say stable, which in helicopters mean a constantly changing dynamic situation.

I'm still fighting my fixed wing habits.  I consistently ending up too fast at the end. Which means I end up having too much aft cyclic which translates into having to pull too much collective and rolling in too much power at the end, which means huge amounts of pedal too.  It's all pretty ugly.

The ideal is once turning final and setting that initial back cyclic, it's a steady deceleration from 60 to the hover right over the landing spot.  Which would mean, a more gentle collective at the end when you translate from flight to hover which would help slow down the helicopter more, which would require forward cyclic to keep from stopping, keeping a more level attitude, less required collective and power and anti-torque at the end.

I'm at that point in training where it's gonna be the same stuff over and over till I can actually do it.

Sunday, April 29, 2012

What I've been up to... some more.

More of the same today.  Hover, pedal turns, hover taxi (forward and left and right), patterns.  I'm trying to tighten up the hover stuff, now more bobbling around, keep it in the 3 to 5 ft. high realm, nice walking pace, stuff like that.

Patterns, more of the same.  Trying to get that pace on approach down, more coordination on collective/throttle, cyclic/pedals.  It's getting there, but I'm still pretty loose on that stuff.

At this point, I've been introduced and demonstrated all the basic stuff.  It's just a matter of polishing up the skills.  Not anything exciting, but it's stuff I have to master.

Oh! p.s.  My instructor, the suicidal maniac, is letting me hover taxi the helicopter more and closer to the helicopter stand that the bird normally rests on.  So, either I am getting better or his life is taking a turn for the worse.  I've taken to searching the flight school office for crumpled up half written "Goodbye, Cruel World" notes.

Friday, April 27, 2012

What I've been up to.... again.

Much to the wailing of my fixed wing friends (cough, Wing, cough).  I'm continuing my helicopter training.

Nice day today.  Light winds out of the north, cool, no clouds.  Basically a beautiful day to fly. Or in the case of helicopters, make the air my bitch.

We did the usual hover work, pick ups, set downs, then we did some more flying.  Just figuring out what cruise power setting are for different airspeeds.  How to do constant airspeed climbs and descents.  Then we got back into the pattern and worked the pattern and something new, the helicopter approach.

Okay, I'm just writing this up so I'll remember it, you can skip the next paragraph if you want.

The standard approach path in helicopters is about 10 degrees. That's a bit different from a fixed wing approach.  That's usually a 3 to 3.5 degrees.  So, we were trying to turn final at about 300 ft. above ground
and at a point that puts the landing spot at that 10 degree descent path.  Then an initial slight reduction in power/collective and back on the cyclic to start the approach.  The idea being that you're doing a constant deceleration and descent to the spot.  So, all things being perfect, you start the final at 60mph (this helicopter's airspeed indicator is calibrated in mph) and you use collective to control the descent and the cyclic to control, this is the different bit, the apparent speed across the ground.  So, at 300 ft. you look like your moving at a walk, the same at 200, as 100, etc.  This means as the ground gets closer, you're going to be decelerating to keep that same apparent pace.  Seems okay, right? It's just that as a fixed wing pilot I have trained and trained and flown and flown to set up a constant descent but a constant airspeed as well.  So, all my flying life, I'm watching the runway numbers pass underneath at whatever is the landing speed of what I'm flying.  so, 30-35 in a Cessna up to 120-130 in a Lear.  So, here I am, constantly fighting my tendency to push the nose over to gain airspeed again rather than keeping the nose up and letting the airspeed bleed off. 

And that's basically it today.  Aside from a couple of beeps on the collective and the throttle, I had the controls alone the entire time.  So, I must be getting better.  I think.  maybe.... who knows...

I still think my instructor is using me in some sort of convoluted suicide/insurance scam thing.