Happy United States Independence Day

I hope you all have a great 4th of July. For those of you who can, be careful with the fireworks.

And please, while you all are going about your day today, seeing friends, cooking out, whatever, take a moment and remember those who have served in our armed forces.  They have made, make, and will ensure that this day's celebrations remain possible. Also, please say a prayer for all those who have made the ultimate sacrifice in protecting our country and our way of life.

Conversations at Manse de Phlegm

Just a snippet of a conversation we had:

LD: Yeah, you get inside his OODA loop and it screws him up.

Me to Phlegmmy: OODA Loop, that's another geek thing.

Phlegmmy:  I know what an OODA Loop is.  I've seen Willy Wonka.

Blogorado, The Epic Trek Out

Okay, it's after 10 pm, Blogoradoville time, and I'm checked into a new hotel.  Well, new for me anyway. I am posting this from the hotel that is a registered historic landmark for the state of BlogoradovilleState.  I like it.   There's a picture of the Duke on my wall. 

Today started early.  I met NFO at his hotel in Tulsa and we loaded all the rifles and other assorted implements of shootiness and hit the road with some vague plans to do some stuff and maybe some other stuff too.  If we get time. And aside from the usual construction suspects getting across the state was easy.  Except for listening to the great anointed one do a multi-hour news conference were he managed to be condescending, berating, belittling, and more general fear mongering.  My blood pressure....

We ended up calling Lawdog, Phlemmy, Expert Witness, The Great Tam herself, and Ambulance Driver and coordinated a meeting in Amadillorillo for a late lunch with plans to caravan the rest of the way to Blogoradoville.

Two words, Cat Herding.

We eventually lallygagged our way to Blogoradoville where Mr and Mrs Sci-Fi and Christina_LMT were already there.  Having successfully managed to avoid any lallygagging, ambling, loping, or other forms of non-urgent perambulations coming from the other direction.

I ate too much. 

Somehow, FarmMom has gotten better at making fried chicken.  Yes, I know. It's shocking.  I still find it hard to believe myself. But the oily proof was all over my hands and face by the time I raised the white flag.

Tomorrow, we finish the set up on the range, scope out a direction that will give us 6 miles of clearway for long range shooting, rezero for the altitude, and probably eat too much again.

Tomorrow, Tractortracks and her squeezetoy, Salamander and his family, Evyl Robot of the quality holsters with his sexay holster model, InJennifersHead and their offspring, plus a couple of others will arrive.  It looks to be a good group.

Honestly, I plan to blog something and maybe have pictures too, maybe, everyday.  But, as the saying goes, a plan is just a list of things that won't happen.  So, we'll see how I do with that.

What I did on my summer vacation.

I went to Blogoradoville this last weekend.  A couple of us gathered there to help do some setup for this years Blogorado.  The plan was to start work on the Blogorado Battle Buggy and maybe do some setup on the range.

We actually stayed mostly to plan.

Here are a couple of pics of the buggy.  Coming along nicely, don't you think?

I'm trying to convince them that this should be the Blogorado flag.  The Skull and Bewbies.  I'm finding it a tougher sell than I first imagined.  Can't figure out why.

TSA Motto:

"TSA, what is best in life?"

"To crush your passengers, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women."

h/t to Daniel

Hear Hear....

Jen hits one out of the park.

Srsly. Well said!

This kicked over my giggle box.

I'm lucky enough to be on Old_NFO's friday email list. When he can, he sends out jokes for the weekend. This bit really had me laughing out loud.

GED Test

Can the below possibly be true?

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year old's)............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Awesomeness debuts tonight!

All hands to your Internets! Tonight marks the debut of the media empire that will be...

B B & Guns!

6pm Eastern, be there or be a regular 4 sided polygonal shape.

Edit: The .mp3 is now available. Just go to this link.

Thoughts to Ponder

(Shamelessly stolen from Snig's e-mail)

Good health is merely the slowest possible
Rate at which one can die.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,
Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like a Slinky ...
Not really good for anything, but you
Still can't help but smile when
You shove them down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
Lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00,
And a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Talk about your Awesomellama!!!!

The most awesome show on the interwebz starts next week!

Hosted by two of the best gun chicks on the web even!

The best of guns, animals, and other arcania.

New Additions.

Yesterday, I met her.

She's out to shoot the ProAm Nationals this weekend.

Pretty cool, huh. She's a pretty cool shooter too.

She's been duly added to my blogroll, check her out.

Tis the season.

Okay, it's rounding out to THAT time of year again. So, as I annually do, please accept the following.

To all my liberal acquaintances;

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday(tm), practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual orientation of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion oft he wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher

And to all my conservative friends.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Normal? Compared to what?

Okay, now that the bredalanche, Snarkylanche and everyotherblogger-alanche has subsided and my daily visits counter has stopped spinning like a demon-possessed fan. I can return to my usual inane commenting on all things... inane.

Blogorado: The depression.

Okay, I'm not going to give a play by play of the weekend. Others more eloquent or just plain better at ranting have done that.

I want to say, simply even, thank you.

Thanks to FarmGirl, FarmDad, FarmMom, and Mamaw for hosting us, cooking for us, providing land for a range and things to shoot at, for by far the best chicken fried steak I've had, for putting up with us cantankerous, independently minded blog-type folks. I may have moaned about missing the riding to set up the range, but setting it up was a blast too. You all are the best.

Thanks to you, The Breda, for coming. You took time off from GunNuts:TNG and took the chance on meeting a slew of people you've never seen before, for stepping up and shooting everything we put in your hands, even when I gave you bad advice on shooting stances, but mostly for just being you. You may not admit it, or even understand it, but you're an incredible person and having the chance to meet you in person was truly an honor.

Christina, thanks for coming as well. I know you were worried about being "a total n00b" shooter and, I don't know, embarrassing yourself or something. What you missed is that, one, we all started as new shooters as some point, and two, we're the sort of group that loves coaching people. Give us a new shooter and we were falling all over ourselves to help you have fun and learn about all the different types of guns out there. I hope you had as much fun learning and shooting as we had teaching and demonstrating. And the massages were a great treat.

Alan, what can I say. Great knees. Seriously, it was great seeing you again. You've got one sweet long range AR set up and letting me shoot the M-11 even though I didn't bring any 9mm to speak of was a treat.

Stingray and LabRat, it was really neat to finally meet you both. I could gush about your blog and epic rants, but I wont. I do want to say the real people are so much better than the internet blog. And your beer is worth a loveblog all its own. And watching LabRat do an entire movie with KatyBeth was a highlight of the evening for me.

Speaking of, Ambulance Driver and KatyBeth. It was great seeing you again. And KatyBeth is such a little darling. I am ready to declare that she must accompany you on any blog meets we attend together. And we need to get together more often. Once every 8 months is just not right, dude. I hope the venison is good. That deer gave his all for your taste buds.

Sal, I'm sorry you had to leave early. I hope the kids are better. Next time, all I can say is next time. Don't forget to drop me an email with your contact details either. Don't make me go through FarmGirl to get them. Don't think I wont. And believe me, it won't be pretty if I have to.

Old_NFO. Thanks for swinging by and hauling my big butt and all my junk to the meet. And thanks for bringing some of the most awesome rifles I've ever had the privilege to handle, much less shoot. Next time, we're confiscating your wallet and we'll treat you.

Snarky, you are a hoot! Being a "n00b" shooter didn't stop you from being full of energy and fun. Do not forget to stay in touch. And next time, maybe the munchkin can come along.

Phlegmmy and LawDog. Oh. My. God. When you two showed up and were in the same area as Breda, my head went 'splody. No, srsly! You guys are awesome and just thinking of you two makes my grin go from ear to ear to meeting around the back side of my head.

Gay_Cynic, thanks for travelling from literally, the corner of the US to see us. Putting up with the hassle that is TSA to bring guns means a lot to me. Other people would have looked at that and decided it wasn't worth the trouble or the risk. You grinned and bared it just for the chance to meet us. That means a lot to me. It was an honor and a pleasure and whether you like it or not, I'm including you amongst my friends.

Matt and Johnny. When people say "A giant among men", I want you to know that it's not just your physical height that they're referring too. You are great people and those who don't get the opportunity to meet you are just that much the less for not having that chance.

Finally, to the town of FarmFam. For a little town that resides in a county that doesn't have a stoplight, you allowed us in, made us welcome and didn't bat an eyelash at a bunch of nutty outsiders OC'ing all over the place. That's the way it should be and I thank you for showing us how this country should be.

I wish the weekend could have gone on forever. And everyone I've talked to seems to be as sad about that as I am. I'm calling it post-blogorado depression. I'm afraid the only cure will be to meet again as soon as possible.

November 11th.

Thanks for serving. It's guys like us that allow hippies like them the freedom to spit on guys like us.


Also, did you know it's punch a hippie day too?

Blogorado: The Epic Butt Post

So, I'm sure if you've read everyone else on my blogroll you know that Blogorado was not only a huge success, but just barrels and barrels and buckets and tubs of fun.

In attendance were FarmGirl, BredaFallacy, Salamander, Gay_Cynic, Stingray, LabRat, JPG, Better and Better, Old_NFO, Me, Ambulance Driver (with the adorable Katybeth), Snarky, FarmMom, FarmDad, Mamaw, Snarkybytes, Lucrative Pain, LawDog, Phlegm Fatale, and a run'd over deer, and I know I'm forgetting someone. Please leave a comment on who I forgot.

But anyway, here's pics of everyone there. Bonus points if you can match the person to the... umm... pic. :D

Bonus bonus points if you can find the pic that started it all.

Just for scale, this is Breda standing next to one of the midgets from the circus that passed through Sunday.

I did get a pic of Sal's butt, but the knee-beards were soooo much better.

Blogorado: Shooting Day One

Quick post. I'm beat and we're gonna do it all again tomorrow.

(W00t!)

Today was a GOOD day. We started by gathering for breakfast and then sort of ambled over to Mamaw's place and launched from there.

Went straight to the range and after a couple of hours of final set up we buckled down to some of the really fun stuff. We had guns a plenty. In fact you could say we had a plethora of guns... and ammo.

I shot everything I could get my hands on, Old_NFO has some REALLY nice sniper rifles. We'd set up a half standard size target at 250 yards and people (Breda) were hitting it consistently. That's the equivalent of a 500 yard shot up an incline. Not an easy feat.

On a related side note, Breda may truly be the world's most dangerous librarian. You'll be innocently walking across an empty parking lot and BAM! Then from a long distance away you'll hear as the lights fade out, "2 weeks overdue"....

We blew up a couple of pounds of tannerite among other fun stuff. Then went back to mamaw's and had some of the best chicken fried steak EVAH!

It really was one of those days that you wish would never end. And we get to do it tomorrow!

Oh, I have pics of everyone I'll post them when I get a chance.

Blogorado: The initial meeting.

I have to admit, when Breda first walked up to Mamaw's garage I went a little shy fanboi. But as promised...

Will you get a load of that.... holster. :D

(She is sooo gonna kill me.)

The Gathering

has begun.

Snarkybytes started first. He hooked through Oklahoma City on his way to pick up Breda Fallacy and then spend a couple of days with the Atomic Nerds. They should show up at the gathering Thursday with beer!

Old_NFO is meeting me here today and we'll continue on to FarmGirls on Thursday.

Lucrative Pain is linking up with super secret guest and will be driving in on Thursday as well.

Snarktastic will be flying in and then being picked up Thursday.

Ambulance driver and spawn should be showing up around then too.

In fact for a blog meet that doesn't start till saturday, the party seems to be rolling in early. That's a win in my book.

LawDog and Phlegm Fatal hopefully will get in Saturday with a couple of others from the Texas Contingent.

Bayou Renaisaunce Man and Wing will be joining us via the wonders of the innertubez. Get well soon, ol' chap.

I'll post pics as I can. But don't be surprised if it's mostly girls asses.... :D

Sugar Coma

Happy Holloween everyone!