Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Tis the season.

Okay, it's rounding out to THAT time of year again. So, as I annually do, please accept the following.

To all my liberal acquaintances;

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday(tm), practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual orientation of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion oft he wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher

And to all my conservative friends.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!


Snigglefrits said...

Merry Christmas to you, Jim!

I say Merry Christmas no matter what. The only time I've been corrected about it was when I greeted a little old lady in that way. She told me right quick that she "didn't believe in that stuff".

I chopped her down to her damned tennis shoes.

I don't care if you believe in it or not, a person takes time to say something NICE and the only thing you can do is gripe about it? I could have ignored you. I could have said something ugly to you. But no, I chose to say something nice. Accept it for that and walk on, but don't dare take me to task for being nice.

She blinked three or four times, swallowed the fact I was being "rude" to someone her age, stammered a second and finally said, "You're right.".

Old NFO said...

Asshole... :-) You beat me to it, now I've gotta find something ELSE to post...

Julie said...

Hehehehe I saw the first half of that last year, but not the second - very funny!

(might be worth editing the date to 2010 unless you're working on some unusual calendar too) ...

aepilot_jim said...

Thanks Julie, I saw that and still somehow missed it like 8 times.

Everett said...

Hi, I'm a new reader here from Old NFO. Don't mean to be a smartass, but there is no such bird as a 'seagull'. Every one of them has another name appended in from of the 'seagull word i.e. Herring gull, Great Black-back gull Laughing gull etc. etc ad nauseum!